This Never Ending War

If you are a Spoonie, you are fighting a never ending war…. a never ending chronic illness war. All day and all night our bodies fight, whether they are fighting themselves or a foreign invader, they are fighting a never ending war just to be okay. Now I am going to tell you about my never ending war against Chronic Asthmatic Bronchitis (CAB), which is a mild form of COPD; I do have quite a few other illnesses, but this is the main one that effects my life in the largest way.

CAB has affected my life in a HUGE way, not only my day to day life, but my social life and my relationships with others. My day to day life with this disease is a struggle that I fear will only get harder as life goes on. All day and all night long my body fights itself and any foreign invaders that I may have picked up in public. Every time I get sick, I end up on antibiotics within a week and I end up so weak that I can’t stand long enough to shower (I actually have to sit when I shower)! My disease keeps me from being able to hang out with friends because I am just too exhausted to go anywhere or do anything, thankfully I do have some friends who understand. I can’t go out on dates because I am just too tired and I can’t eat out anywhere due to food allergies and Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I also have to wear a pediatric flue mask (the adult size is too big ) when I am out in public to help prevent infections because my immune system is weak.

This war is scary and there are days when I just feel like giving up… BUT I have a Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ who gives me the strength every day to get through. Honestly, if it wasn’t for Him, I would have given up a long time ago. The truth is, He has become my life: when my dreams died because of CAB, He stepped in and gave me new dreams— dreams to live for Him and not myself. I am here to for His purpose and bring Him glory in all I do. My faith and trust in Him get me through each day and help with the anxiety of having this life changing disease. I may be physically down and limited, but spiritually, I am strong and active.


This article is written by Rebecca Phelps (Bekka). You can read more about Bekka on her blog Chronic Beauty.


One Reply to “This Never Ending War”

  1. Have you heard the song “It’s Not Over Yet” by For Kind And Country? They wrote it for their spoonie little sister. It’s been my repeated reminder this week to keep my eye on the big picture even when my body is at war ☺️

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