I was able to do well with most of these until the gastroparesis and fibromyalgia came on strong about 3 years ago. I had to give up my career as an emergency room nurse. My life went from high speed to no speed over night.
Until last March I spent most of my time depressed and unfulfilled. About 8 months after my diagnosis and having a stimulator put in I got really sick again and landed in the hospital. I was estranged from my children, my mother and I struggle to get along and my husband wasn’t adjusting to the life change either. I lost my hope and took a bottle of Zofran and benadryl…..I had no fight left in me… Thankfully I’m still here and I have a husband willing to fight for me.
The last 3 years were rough, due to losing my income we lost our house and were homeless for a while. I started to lose hope again. Then my dad sat down with me and we had a very long difficult talk. I wanted to swim in my pain and self pity. But I realized that’s not how I want to live. So I started changing my outlook. I find the positive in every day. Yes I’m still sick, I still hurt and I still get frustrated, but I’m refusing to let my health define me. I am more than my diagnosis. While I can’t get out of the house most days, it doesn’t mean I’m not a contributing member of society. I’m not ever going to give up again!!
Becoming ill is a major life changing event. I had to take the time to mourn all that I lost. By going through the grief process it helped to come out stronger. The Spoonies For Life support group has helped me immensely. I recommend to everyone who’s become a spoonie to join. I’ve learned to find the blessings and happiness in my life. I embrace and love my body for what it is and am thankful for everyday I’m given to keep trying to fight!!