Spoonie Storie: Amanda

Hi, Amanda here. A spoonie still searching for answers.

Since birth I’ve struggled with allergies to everything, a comprised immune system, and issues with my feet (club feet & poor blood circulation). As I grew into puberty my female pain began, 11 years old. Asthma set in, allergies ruled my world. OCD was also a huge part of my life, eventually in my early 20s I was diagnosed with BiPolar Disorder after suffering 4 miscarriages(these turned out to be a result of my ex-husband having Balanced Translocation of 2 Chromosomes).┬áThe fight for mental stability coupled with allergies, asthma, fibroid tumors, PCOS, and never ending foot and spine issues have ruled the last 20 years.

spoonie story Amanda

In 2013 I had surgery on my feet with great hopes for relief, sadly more damage was done than I had before. This year I had my gallbladder removed, still fighting chronic kidney infections and stones, two hernia repairs, and finally in June a full hysterectomy, though I was able to keep my ovaries, praying they don’t fail on me. I’ve had Shingles the last two months, on my face so I’m fighting now to keep my left eye and left hearing.

Three weeks ago I fell down a flight of stairs while having a spasm in my eye, yes I was stupid for even being on a staircase. Now I’m laid up, going Friday for an MRI and scared to death of the damage I’ve done.

I’m still searching for answers concerning my immune system, last week they took 10 vials of blood for testing, I have no name for my endless fatigue, constant fevers, nights sweats, muscle pain, hair loss, hand tremors, migraines, swollen adrenal glands, inability to swallow, and a list of other endless strange symptoms that nobody can SEE! I’m searching, I’m so tired, I just want to know finally what is wrong, yes I have severe allergies and asthma, but that doesn’t explain all this other!

My mother is the only person who has stuck by my side, my father did as well, in fact he helped me escape my very dangerous marriage, but sadly we lost him in 2006. My mother and I are it, all we have are each other, she never gives up on me and I feel like such a burden. We are both on disability, she has so many health problems yet just today she sewed me heat wraps for my neck and feet! Without her I would give up.

I’m searching for answers, I’ve lost a marriage and have no children or siblings, sometimes my Bipolar is almost to much to bare. I’m still here though. I’ve not given up, I can’t, somewhere inside me I have hope, such a small little hope but it’s there.

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