Self Care VS Selfishness

“You have to push through it.”

“Stay Positive!”

“It can’t be that bad!”

“Get some fresh air! That will help!”

“Have you tried exercising?”

How many times have we heard these things said to us when we are at our breaking point with our health?

Whether it’s from a family member, friend or even medical professionals….one thing is for sure, unless you are sick- you just don’t understand.

In those moments when our pain or disability overtakes us, we have to find a way to self care.

Those with health may not understand this concept. They may interpret it as selfishness.

How do we “UnChargeables” find the balance between self-care and selfishness?

Healthy people do not calculate things like we do. We literally ration everything in our lives in order to keep our health on track.  Every action is a “tax” on our strength and energy and must be planned.  Eating, sleeping, bathing, working- EVERY action in daily life requires a plan. 

Example- I have an appointment in the morning.  Is my hair washed? I better take a bath tonight because I won’t have the strength to do that and do physical therapy in the morning.

As sufferers of chronic illness, there are things we HAVE to do in order to survive.

We HAVE to eat right, we HAVE to sleep the amount of time our bodies require, we HAVE to rest when our energy gives out, we HAVE to take our medications, we HAVE to do our treatments,  we HAVE to eliminate stress, we HAVE To do what is best for our health.

Self care is doing the things you know to do in order to keep yourself as healthy as possible. Those who truly love you will see your habits as ESSENTIALS to your well being and will support you.

Those who do not understand and lack compassion may see your habits as selfish.

You cannot let this affect your actions towards your own health. 

I recently had someone make the comment to me, “It must be nice to not have to work.” Yes, I love giving up my dream of medical school and lying in bed all day. Thank you for pointing that out. I sure love feeling useless and lazy after running an entire retirement home and being in school for a second degree.

In my mind, people that judge us for our health needs are the selfish ones. When you judge someone who already walks a difficult road, that is SELFISH.

Self care is so vital to the health of a chronically ill person.

Eat what you need- When you need it.

Rest when you’re tired- Don’t fight it.

Ask for help- The people that love you will be there.

Ignore the negative influences- Some people are ignorant.

Be gentle with yourself- No rose blooms all year long.

Healing is a process.

Self care is NOT SELFISH!

If you are struggling in your health, please assess if you are taking care of yourself.

Here are some examples-

When you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed- take a deep breath and do something you enjoy like listening to a favorite song, watching a movie or remembering a place you love to visit.

Do something to pamper yourself! Drink some hot tea or wrap up in your favorite blanket.

Eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired. Sounds simple but for years I neglected to do these two things…..these are ESSENTIAL…….

Reach out to those who support you and avoid those who bring you down.

Not everyone will understand what you go through, your life and struggle will overwhelm some people. This is NOT your fault.

Best wishes of healing and hope my fellow UnChargeables!




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