Warning: Explicit content
March 2, 2016
Yes, I mean you! I see you there. You are sad, hurting , and wondering why the hell you are here. Why should you suffer this existence? The pain is eating you from the inside out. You feel as if there is no good left to live for. I see you when your mind falls into the abyss and cries for mercy. I see you when your PTSD erodes every bit of your sense of safety. I see you when life knocks you down when you just found your feet again. I see your struggles. I know your pain. I know the wish that each night when you go to sleep you will quietly slip away never to wake again. But you do and that alone means you are a fighter, a warrior.
How do I know your thoughts and feelings? Remember, I am you and you are me. I get knocked on my ass by life. I get thrown into the abyss by my thoughts and feelings. My pain is your pain. We may not be exactly the same but we travel parallel roads. I know what it feels like to think that your body, and your mind are your enemies. I know what it feels like when one more thing gets added to the load you carry and people think you should just smile and quietly bear it. I know because you are me and I am you.
How do I keep going when things are so bad? Instinctively I think we all want to survive what ever is attacking us; even if it is our own bodies and minds. We have to fight with ourselves. We have to fight letting our negative thoughts devour the light in our souls. We have to protect the tiny spark that resides deep inside of us. We have to feed that spark. It keeps our soul alive when everything around and in us says give up. So, how do I keep going? I feed that tiny flame, that spark, one good thing each day.
What do I mean? Ok, here is what I figured out. Each day I have to find one thing that brings me joy. Then, for that day, that is my reason for living that day. Take for example my love of sunrises. Any day I get up early enough to see a sunrise I get to be blessed by mother nature’s awesome display. There is no way I can not feel the joy and blessings bestowed on me when faced with such beauty. Watching sunrises reminds me that each day is a blank slate that the sun paints with its light. It reminds me that I can do whatever I want with that day. I can spread laughter. I can help someone when they are down. I can wipe someone’s tears. I can hold someone when they are afraid. I can bring light into my world by doing so many little things. I can feed that spark by finding joy in things great and small.
Where can you find joy? Joy can be found in all things. Whether they are big or small; they are soul food. Joy can be found everywhere. It’s in the first breath of a newborn kitten. It’s in the laughter of a 80 year old man. It’s in your love of your husband or wife. It’s in listening to music and connecting with it’s message. It’s in finding a group of warriors who understand you. It’s in the first blooms of spring. It’s in a summer storm. It’s in seeing the night sky. It’s everywhere if we only look and sometimes joy finds us without even really trying.
Why am I talking about joy and fire in our souls? Well, it’s like this if we let the fire die and have no joy in our lives, it means we give up. Without joy and the fire to fight we become a shadow of who we were meant to be. We never fulfill our purpose. We leave our job here undone.
Why does it matter? It matters because who says you were not put here to do great things. You might be here to save a life. You might be here so someone doesn’t feel so alone in their journey. You might be here to bring a child into the world who will be a great leader. You might be put here to create music that touches and feeds the soul. You might be here to love someone who feels unlovable. You might be here to save me.
So, what is the purpose of this message to you? The reason I am writing you this letter is to issue you a challenge. Yep, I am here to challenge you to find a reason to live. I am here to challenge you to find the joy in each day. I am here to challenge you to feed the spark inside you.
You can do this! I want you to find one thing each day that brings you joy and gives you reasons to fight for another day. It doesn’t matter what it is; big or small; if it brings you joy and feeds the spark it doesn’t matter. Remember, I am you and you are me. If we walk this journey together we can do this. I got your back. Our joy can be anything. A sunrise, a baby’s cry, a flower, laughing with a friend, having a low pain day, or even reading a poem. Joy is everywhere. Find it! Enjoy it! Feed the spark so it feeds the warrior in you. Feed it so when the warrior needs to stand up and battle you can look back at those joyful memories and use it for fuel. One moment, one second, one note of music, one smile ,one hand holding yours, one fellow warrior saying here I am; these are where joy lives. Find them! Fight for them! I DARE YOU!
Linda’s letters is a chronological series. Start with letter 1 here.