Author

Vanessa Blevins

Fibromyalgia (FM)Illnesses Spoonie Stories

To My New Doctor Before Our Appointment

697 Please don’t dismiss my concerns. I know that you’ve spent years in med school, and many more years treating patients, but I’ve lived in my body for quite some time and I can assure you that something is going on that isn’t explained by my current diagnoses. So please do not try to tell me that it’s just my Fibromyalgia or stress. I’ve been treated for chronic illnesses for several years (almost a decade, if I recall correctly) and it takes a lot out of me to get myself out the door and into your office, so I can assure you I wouldn’t be here using both of our time and energy if I didn’t think it was important. I heard that in med school they tell you “when you hear hooves, think horses not zebras” in an attempt to corral your imagination and enthusiasm, so that you don’t skip over an obvious diagnosis in search of a rare disease. But just because there are more horses than zebras doesn’t mean that zebras don’t exist, so please hear me out.

I’m not saying that I’ve been misdiagnosed, I just think we’ve missed a diagnosis (or a few). There are things I’ve lived and with and compensated for my entire life, that up until very recently I thought were normal for everyone. I have fought friends, family, and countless doctors over the years in a desperate search to find out the root of my health issues and I’d really appreciate it if someone would be on my side for once. I need someone in my corner fighting with me, and I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a little blood work and some imaging if it rules out (or confirms) a few things. I don’t think it’s unreasonable of me to want a decent quality of life, and if you really do think that stress is a big concern for me what do you think being in barely bearable pain 24/7 is doing for my ability to relax, hmm? If the “standard” treatments for my currently diagnosed conditions aren’t providing effective relief, I think it’s a fair assumption that maybe there is something else going on that needs to be addressed. Please, just help me find it.

If I were a hypochondriac, I would be excited about this appointment. You’d be seeing me every week. I wouldn’t be waiting to come in, putting it off. If I am being honest, I really don’t like going there at all. Between some pretty severe driving anxiety and a car that I fully expect to break down every time I drive it, loading up my kids and driving half an hour with no air conditioning isn’t exactly at the top of my list of fun ways to spend a summer afternoon. I’m pretty sensitive to heat (hello, I get dizzy when it’s over 85 degrees outside), and I get over-stimulated while driving on the highway, and the lights and sounds and smells and all the goings-on in your waiting and exam rooms put me on edge. When I finally do get home from this upcoming excursion I will be so physically and mentally drained that I will probably not be able to do anything but the barest necessities for several days after, so please don’t make the assumption that I’m just here for attention. Trust me, I don’t like talking face-to-face to you (or your nurse, who makes me say it all to her before you come in) about the gory details and shortcomings of my existence. If I could manage to live my life without ever having to go to another doctor’s office, I totally would.

I can assure you, I’m not a drug seeker. I already have a legitimate Pain Management specialist who has been treating me for several years, and frankly I’d be happy to wean off of the opioid medication altogether, if I could live in a place where a safer and more natural pain management solution were available. Sadly, that’s not an option here and I can’t move, so I’m forced to take what treatments are available to me. I would think that a drug seeker would come in asking for drugs, not blood tests and imaging. But what do I know? I’m not looking for a prescription, so I’m not familiar with the actions of people who are. I would like to think that someone who took an oath to provide care and healing to others without discrimination wouldn’t deny treatment to someone in need based on a preconceived notion. I would like to think that someone who took that oath would understand that everyone deserves effective and unbiased care.

vanessa Wouldn’t you rather be the doctor that ordered some “pointless” tests than the one who sent someone away without even looking for answers? So what if the tests come back negative? You don’t have to tell anyone but me. If they come back positive then you’ve found yourself an authentic zebra, and your inner med school student who didn’t want to be stifled will be vindicated! In all of your day-to-day ins-and-outs of taking care of horses, wouldn’t you just love to see some stripes? I know it’s kind of a low blow to prey on your ego, but if there is anything I’ve learned about doctors over the years it’s that you take a lot of pride in your intellect and ability, and you should. You’ve earned it! I also take great pride, in my ability to know how my body feels and when something is “off” (and I don’t mean to brag, but I’m not exactly the dullest crayon in the box) so let’s work together and figure this thing out, OK? OK.

For some background on this story, read more here.

May 11, 2016 0 comment

Doctor Review Illnesses Spoonie Stories

To The Emergency Room Doctor Who Dismissed Me As A Drug Seeker:

written by Vanessa Blevins

I understand. I do. You doctors are under a lot of pressure these days about your opioid prescriptions. It’s been all over the headlines lately. I also understand that in the emergency department you see a large proportion of people coming in for a quick fix and a scrip for 24 5/500 to take home. I know the drill, I’ve actually known a few pill shoppers personally. I’ve ended an intimate relationship over my own pain medication going missing from my purse. I get it. However, I do think there are actually a few things that you don’t quite “get”.

For starters, I’m positive you don’t know (because you didn’t care to ask) that I fully intended to endure any and every test you might have performed (including the MRI I was hoping against hope would happen) without any form of sedation or pain medication, even though I’m prone to anxiety attacks in closed quarters. I’ll note that my main complaint at triage was not pain, and while I did mention that I was in pain during the course of my triage exam (kind of unavoidable, as a person who suffers chronic pain), I also expressed the fact that I drove myself and therefore did not want mind-altering substances so that I would be able to drive myself back home. I’m not sure how I could have been more clear.

I came in with vision problems, extreme pressure in my head and what I swear is increased pressure in my spinal column. With numbness and tingling in my hands and feet, vertigo, hand tremors, and my legs partially stopped working for a moment today. They went heavy and limp and half numb. Those might not be emergent symptoms to you, but they freaked me out! I’m a single mom of three kids, I can’t be having body parts randomly giving out on me without explanation! I came as soon as I could, when I would have time, and hopefully you would have time, to run some tests. I wanted to leave with answers. What I left with were vision problems, extreme pressure in my head and spine, hand tremors, and legs that went funny as the discharge nurse was walking me out the shortcut. At least the nurses were freaking awesome, as always!

I also came in because I’ve been having back problems for months and have been fighting with the insurance company for an MRI, to no avail. You see, my pain management specialist, the one who manages my pain (the reason why I didn’t come in for pain meds), thinks something might be causing nerve damage. Over the course of the past several months of waiting for insurance to approve imaging, my symptoms have gotten progressively worse. To the point that at night I wish I could rip my spinal cord out of my spine. That kind of worse. Those are the nights, when it only tingles. During the day I’ll be walking, or bending, or turning, or sitting, and I’ll get a white-hot shooting pain from the center of my spine that goes down through my hips and wraps around my thighs and goes all the way to my toes. Other times the same areas go completely numb. I’m having other troubles related to nerve damage that I tried to tell you about, but you dismissed me.

My pain management doctor ordered an MRI last summer but after a few months I was told it had to go through my primary care doctor. Well, I’ll save the story of the MRI, as it’s a separate tale in itself, but the not-so-happily ever after is that my insurance seems to think it is cheaper and more patient-friendly to put me through every single torturous test I went through eight years ago that built up to my last MRI because apparently they (like you) know more about how my health should be managed than the doctor who has treated me every single month for the past ten years! So you see, the Emergency Department at your hospital was my last resort to try to get a picture of whatever is going on in my back before it progresses to The Point of No Return.

Instead of ordering a simple test that wouldn’t even have been that big of a deal for you, you completely dismissed me. Even after I told you I wasn’t there for your drugs, you belittled me. Instead of providing care and compassion for someone who has been desperately fighting through bureaucratic red tape while still hoping for treatment, you gleefully added a whole new mess of red tape. Because now thanks to you, I’ve got an E.R. visit as a drug seeker in my medical file. That is going to affect how I am treated at every emergency room I go to, no matter why I’m there. I actually do have several legitimate medical conditions which are commonly treated with narcotic pain medications. (Did I mention I have a specialist? Pretty sure I did.) I also have a few conditions that cause vomiting. See where I’m going with this? There’s times when I can’t keep down my medications. So next time I have to go to the E.R. because I’ve vomited my legally prescribed and responsibly taken medication, instead of being treated with care and compassion as a person who is facing a lifetime battling chronic illness, I’ll be treated like a dope-sick addict looking for a fix. So screw you for that.

OK maybe that was a little harsh, but you don’t know what it cost me to even get it together enough to go to the hospital. In the chronic illness and chronic pain community, we measure the energy it takes to get us through our days in spoons, and I used spoons I didn’t even have in order to drag myself out and go. Did you notice I was wheeled in by medics? That’s because I nearly collapsed in the parking lot, but that’s not emergent. Move along. Nothing to see here. Just a druggie wanting a scrip. I’ve been putting this back thing off for months, and no wonder! See what it got me? I’m hurting even worse now, from sitting on the gurney for so long, waiting to be discharged after receiving no medical care. I’ll be really interested to see the bill.

No, you don’t know what it cost me, at all. You’ll recall I did tell you I had to wait on a sitter for my kids, but what I didn’t tell you is my daughter was still awake when I left. She’s two and we’ve never spent more than an hour or so apart in her entire life. Do you have any idea what it cost me to walk out the door and leave her behind, crying that she wanted to go with Mommy? How unbelievably selfish I felt for leaving her? As a mother with chronic illness, I’m often putting my own needs aside in order to care for my children and it took quite a bit of courage to talk myself into leaving my daughter in tears, in order to go take care of my own needs. But I told myself, “You’ll have some answers when it’s over, so it will be worth it.” I’m not used to being so drastically wrong.

People like me who have an invisible illness often have a combination of doctor phobia and PTSD (gee, I wonder why). Well I’ll tell you why. We spend years of our lives having doctors tell us it’s all in our heads or we’re making it up for attention or we’re drug seekers (ahem) until we finally find a doctor who has enough training and compassion to listen to us long enough to actually find us an answer. Unfortunately even after a legitimate diagnosis, many chronic illness sufferers are still left fighting for recognition in the medical community. Even with medical codes in our charts and diagnoses we can’t even pronounce, and a list of ailments recognized by the ADA and the Social Security Administration, even then we’re faced with judgement, discrimination, and mismanagement of care by doctors like you. It takes me weeks, sometimes months, to build up the courage to even make an appointment with a new doctor because of doctors like you. I have anxiety attacks on the way to every doctor’s appointment, even ones I’ve been seeing for years, because of doctors like you. Doctors like you are the reason I’ve been putting this off for so long, and the reason I didn’t want to go tonight. And you’re the reason I wish I had stayed home in my comfy bed and suffered in peace.

I want you to know that even if I had been a drug seeker, I still deserved decent medical care and a modicum of respect. I had other issues besides pain, remember? I complained of vision problems and sensitivity to light and you stood with a fluorescent light behind your head and expected eye contact. Even if you had no respect for me as the person you suspected I was, you were still supposed to be a professional and perform your job. I got more helpful and courteous medical advice from the discharge nurse who (incidentally) spent more time with me than you did, showed more care for my well-being than you did, and was generally (and I assume morally) a better person than you are. I will definitely try to find myself a decent neurologist since you couldn’t be bothered to refer me to one, and I hope that lovely nurse gets a raise.

I know you aren’t going to see this. I know you aren’t going to learn anything from tonight’s events. I know you’re still going to go on treating your patients like crap. But I know I learned a couple of things. I learned that I’m stronger than I thought, to be able to walk out of there, with limited use of my legs but my head held high. And I learned that I actually can be more passionate about patient rights. I have a feeling that my words are about to reach a lot farther than I could imagine. I know my story isn’t the only one of its kind. Tragically, I’m positive it won’t be the last. But if I share my story, and the next person shares their story, and we all keep sharing our stories, maybe eventually someday enough people will get pissed off that things will start to change and doctors like you will be out of a job. Until then, my readers and all of their friends are more than welcome to share this.

*Original text shared with permission from Parenting Through The Fog

April 10, 2016 11 comments

Spoonie Memes

Spoonie Blessing Meme

written by Vanessa Blevins

Updated version of a poem by Vanessa Blevins

April 7, 2016 0 comment

Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS)Fibromyalgia (FM)

Fighting Fatigue in Chronic Illness

written by Vanessa Blevins

Chronic Illness can take many forms and will have varying impact on each person, but one symptom that is commonly reported as severely debilitating is fatigue. You could have a condition that specifies fatigue such as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Fibromyalgia, or it could be a side effect of one of numerous medications; if you’re dealing with chronic illness you’re probably facing crippling fatigue on a daily basis. So what can you do to help yourself stay active? For this article I’ve tried to come up with every idea I could figure out to help you battle your fatigue.

Fatigue takes it’s toll.

Sleep. I’ll start with the obvious. Your doctor has said it, your mother has said it, the random person in the checkout line at the grocery store has said it. You need to sleep. Well I know it’s not that easy and you know it’s not that easy but the kind -hearted well-meaning souls who say these things don’t always know it’s not that easy. Getting to sleep isn’t easy, staying asleep isn’t easy, and if you’re like me even when you do sleep you don’t get the restorative sleep you need to counteract fatigue. Where was I going with this? Ah yes, we were trying to get to sleep.

When a parent brings a new baby home from the hospital, (work with me here, I’m going somewhere) they read a lot of books about bedtimes. One of the most important universal tips across the board in all of the books is, they all tell you if you want to get your kid to go to bed without any trouble it is important to have a bedtime routine. Have a bath with some lavender scent, snuggle up with a quiet book, say goodnight prayers, everything in the same order, every night, so it teaches them that this is what they do when it is time to sleep. Once they’ve done all of the steps, the next obvious step is sleep.

You see where I’m going with this? Set yourself a bedtime routine. It doesn’t have to be a complete bubble bath with a novel and aromatherapy candles, but if you give yourself your own quiet time it might help you wind down a bit before bed. No matter how fatigued you feel, we both know your brain isn’t going to hush anytime soon, so steep yourself a mug of caffeine-free tea, turn off all the electronics, dim the lights, and snuggle up with your own relaxation tool. Listen to a song or two of your favorite musician or read a chapter of a good book. Take a few minutes to practice some meditation or breathing exercises. I know it sounds really silly, but I have a mobile in my room. It’s not a baby one for a nursery, it is actually a modern art piece, but I use it the same way that an infant would. When I just can’t for the life of me make my brain turn off, I’ll watch it’s slow rotation until I’m finally able to drift off into oblivion.

Golly I could write forever about trying to get to sleep. Herbal sleep aids, prescription medications, custom bedding, fancy mattresses, endless arrays of pillows, white noise machines, air purifiers, hypnosis, meditation, even overnight sleep studies and brain wave research. I could keep going, but that’s not my focus today so let’s move along now, shall we?

There’s always tomorrow!

Conservation of Energy. Also much easier said than done, I know. But there are sometimes options available, although a lot of these involve seriously coming to terms with your status as a disabled person. Every person who suffers from chronic illness is at a different stage in their journey, so this is a tough section to write. There is a very wide range of ages in our community, as well as significant diversity in the age of onset/diagnosis. I can only speak from personal experience but I know it took quite a bit for me to go out in public using a mobility assistance device at my age. I was in my early 30’s, very pregnant, and very self-conscious the first time I used my walker. Now I’m about to turn 35 and use my cane regularly. I’ve become much more confident about it in the past five years (if I do say so myself), but I have to admit that the looming prospect of a wheelchair still leaves me feeling pale and somewhat dizzy. But then again, so does the fatigue.

I use myself as an example, mostly because I know me and I have permission to share my story, but also because I know that others feel the same trepidation that I felt in the past and that I’m feeling now, and I want you to know it’s OK to feel that way. I also want you to know that it is 100% completely and totally OK for you to use whatever mobility assistance device(s) you and your doctor deem necessary for your well-being! If using a walker or a wheelchair helps alleviate your fatigue so that you can keep living how you want to and keep doing the things you love, that is a blessing! Don’t let negative thoughts tell you that you’re failing. Use the tools at your disposal with pride, it means you’re taking charge of your chronic illness and fatigue!

If your fatigue is so bad that even a mobility device won’t help you get out and about, don’t feel guilty if you have to cancel plans. Even people who don’t have chronic illness have to take a rain check now and then, it’s alright if you do, too. It’s often hard not to feel guilty when our health gets in the way of something we wanted to do, but we have to remember that this illness isn’t a choice.

It’s OK to take a rain check now & then.

And while we are remembering things, I’ll take this opportunity to bring up the last thing you went to, do you remember? You told someone, “Next time I decide I’m going to push myself when I shouldn’t, remind me how I feel right now.” Well this is me, reminding you!

Vitamins, Supplements, & Energy Drinks.

Just as with sleep aids, there are any number of over-the-counter and prescription options available that could provide some relief from the constant strain of fatigue in a life already plagued with chronic illness. Some patients find relief from fatigue in the form of herbal supplements

Vitamins & Supplements

and other products. There are too many to even begin to list them here, from energy drinks and pills that are readily available at the corner store, to custom vitamin blends and powders designed by boutique nutritionist shoppes for a hefty commission, to pharmaceuticals available by prescription only. There is a multi-billion dollar market aimed at consumers who are desperate for a little pep in their step. Now, I do partake of the occasional energy drink, but I get nervous about adding vitamins and whatnot due to my unfortunate experiences with drug interactions, so I usually talk to my doctor if I think about anything stronger than a Red Bull. I’ve read great things about managing fatigue with prescription medications, but I’m not at a point where I’m considering that step for myself. The point here is, your doctor or pharmacist is a good place to start if you’re looking for advice about adding a supplement.

Diet & Exercise. (I almost heard you groan, but I couldn’t because mine was louder.) I’ve read quite a few great things about how diet changes and regular exercise can “cure” fatigue! (Man I wish we’d decide on that sarcasm font.) Those of us who aren’t already eating a well balanced diet could probably do with a few more salads and a few less burgers, but if you’re already watching your food pyramid and caloric intake choosing a wacky diet isn’t going to do anything but make you difficult to go out to eat with.

My personal experience with exercise has been less than stellar, but I’ve never been all that athletic in the first place so I may not be the best case study. For more information on whether or not diet changes or exercise can help you with your fatigue, consult your doctor, nutritionist, or a physical therapist for an evaluation. Don’t go to a normal gym! Most of them do not have staff who are trained in working with people who have physical limitations, and they are trained to push their clients well beyond their limits. That is not a safe environment for those of us with fatigue and other ailments. Please, I beg of you, if you do choose to go the route of exercise induced endorphin highs, do so in a safe environment, in a responsible manner, with properly trained professionals ready and able to help. And may the spoons be ever in your favor! (That’s a little “Spoonie”/Hunger Games joke from our support group.)

Celiac Disease. According to the Celiac Disease Foundation, Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder that can occur in genetically predisposed people where the ingestion of gluten leads to damage in the small intestine. It is estimated to affect 1 in 100 people worldwide, with 2.5 million Americans undiagnosed and at risk for long-term health complications. (https://celiac.org/celiac-disease/what-is-celiac-disease/) I mention Celiac because one major symptom that occurs during a gluten reaction is fatigue, and in extreme cases a severe reaction called gluten ataxia can occur. If you think your fatigue could be caused by or partly caused by Celiac Disease, please consult your doctor, and visit the Celiac Foundation website for more information.

Keep Hoping. Keep Dreaming. Keep Innovating. Whether you are new to your diagnosis and the fatigue that comes with it, or you’ve been around the dance floor a few times together, there are medical and scientific advancements being made every day. Technology is progressing at a pace that I can honestly say is starting to make me dizzy. We never know what could be around the corner, and with the way social networking is these days, you never know if a solution you think up could be turned into a reality! Much love and hugs and spoons!

April 7, 2016 0 comment

Spoonie Parenting

6 Tips For Parenting With A Chronic Illness

written by Vanessa Blevins

A Spoonie is a person with a chronic, debilitating, oftentimes invisible illness. There are hundreds of conditions that fall under the Spoonie umbrella, and there are millions (if not billions) of Spoonies all over the world. (read the spoon theory to understand why we call ourselves spoonies).

Whether you’ve been a Spoonie since before you had kids or you’ve recently found yourself trying to explain to them why you can’t do all of the things you used to, things have probably come up that aren’t covered in the regular parenting blogs. If they haven’t yet, they probably will! Here’s a few random tips that might be useful on your own journey parenting without spoons.

Tip 1: Indoor Sports.

I’ve been lucky, either my kids just aren’t the active, athletic, into sports kind of kids or they’ve learned to adapt because me being a Spoonie is all they’ve ever known, but either way the end result is I haven’t yet had to utilize my list of indoor sports in my area. Martial arts, gymnastics, basketball, hockey (I’m in Texas, if you want frozen water it has to be inside), fencing, indoor soccer, there are any number of available options. A lot of Spoonies, myself included, have sensitivities to heat and sun, and outdoor sports mean day- and often weekend-long tournaments where you’re schlepping equipment from field to field for hours on end. With indoor sports, you’re most likely air conditioned and any schlepping will be minimal.

Tip 2: Scope out the parks.

Don’t be afraid to use google maps to scan the parks in your area to find the ones that best meet your particular needs. The sky views will show you where the parking is and if there are any handicap spaces, and you may also be able to estimate how much walking you’ll have to do. I like to try to scope out where the bathrooms are in relation to the playground so that I’m not caught off guard. I also look for plenty of shaded areas near where my kids will play so that I can sit and watch them.

Tip 3: Be honest with your kids.

Don’t cover for your illness/disability. I think one of the best decisions I made as a Spoonie parent was choosing age-appropriate honesty when it comes to my health issues. In our situation, it works. I never go into gory details about things or tell them what they shouldn’t hear, but if they ask me why we can’t do something right this minute, I’d rather they know it’s because Mommy doesn’t feel good than have them think it’s because Mommy doesn’t want to.

Tip 4: Stop comparing yourself to other parents!

Period, end of story, just don’t do it. Read the parenting blogs all you want (especially mine, please and thank you), but don’t for a second get caught up in The Parenting Wars that are constantly waging on the internet. It’s not worth the spoons. I can guarantee you that whatever blog you’re reading (yes, even mine) doesn’t come anywhere even close to showing you what really goes on in their day-to-day life. I tend to get a little more gory in the details than most, but if I was completely honest with everyone you’d all run away screaming and have nightmares. Everything isn’t all sunshine and roses, I just like to focus on the positive and funny stuff because that’s the type of energy I like to send out. Anyway, my point is that we as Spoonie parents are in a whole different league, let alone ball game, so don’t let yourself feel inadequate based on someone else’s standards. You tackle more every day than most “normie” parents ever do and you’re amazing at it and don’t you ever forget it!

Tip 5: You’re allowed to make yourself a priority.

No really, you are! Parents (mothers especially) are constantly pressured to put everything before themselves. Kids, spouse, job, home, friends, there’s this pressure from outside influences (remember those Parenting Wars you’re forbidden from fighting?) to give and give and give of yourself. But, you cannot pour from an empty cup! The same thing goes for spoons! Make sure you are taking the time to take care of yourself. Do what you need for you to stay as healthy and active as possible.

Tip 6: It’s okay to ask for help.

It takes a village to raise a child and the children of Spoonies especially so! I know not everyone has family close at hand, but it is very important to create for yourself a network of trusted friends and advisers who can and will help you when you need it most. Make sure to nurture the relationship because it goes both ways, and don’t take advantage of someone’s generosity with their time and effort.

Now I know this doesn’t even come close to scratching the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the challenges of Spoonie parenting, but I hope there’s something worthwhile. If you’ve got a question or a parenting tip to share, feel free to comment below or send me a message and I can post it for you anonymously! Much love and hugs and spoons to all!

April 4, 2016 0 comment

Spoonie Tips

Adjustable Neck Support Pillow Review

written by Vanessa Blevins

Recently I received one of two pillows I ordered in hopes of finally ending the torment that hopefully won’t become The Great Pillow Saga of 2016. The ANS Adjustable Neck Support Pillow, to be exact. I found it on Amazon.com and received it very quickly, and after a night of sleeping on it I can safely say, “so far so good!”

Adjustable Neck Support (ANS) Pillow

This is what Amazon says about the Adjustable Neck Support (ANS) Pillow:

The ANS Pillow is a fully adjustable sleeping pillow for back, side, or stomach sleeper
The patented adjustable neck roll and side compartments allow you to custom fit your neck support. The zipper at the bottom of the pouch allows further adjustments for your firmness desire
Best Cervical Pillow in promoting proper body alignment and support for neck and shoulder pain relief – 30 Nights Satisfaction Guaranteed
100% Machine Washable, Hypoallergenic & Dust Mite Resistance
5 Year Limited Warranty, Queen size: 17.5″x 26″ x 3″

My experience

The first thing I noticed is there is very little odor from the filler. I’m highly sensitive to scents due to sensory issues, and even though this pillow is made of shredded memory foam I was able to use it within minutes of opening the package. Pretty much every other memory foam item I’ve purchased had to air out for days before I could be near without issue, including my current mattress. So for me this is huge!

Another feature I really like is the shredded foam fill! I’ve used several memory foam pillows over the years and they’re always molded and firm and surprisingly unforgiving. This shredded aspect makes the pillow feel like it’s stuffed with down, but without all of those pesky feathers stabbing you out of nowhere!

I’ve been playing around with the adjustable sections all day, and I probably will be doing so for quite a while until it’s just right, but I absolutely LOVE that it will stay just right once I get it there! I do need to check and see if it comes in a firmer model, because I’m not sure this one has quite enough filling for my taste, but maybe I just need to fluff it up some more.

I can’t really fairly give much more of a review, because I’m still skeptical of the claim that it is easily washed and dried in standard household appliances, having destroyed every pillow I’ve ever owned by following its washing instructions. I’ll believe that when I see it. So after sleeping on it for a while, and putting it through a wash/dry, I’ll have more to say, but I’m definitely impressed so far!
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March 14, 2016 3 comments